Straight from the Pit of Hell: a Blinky and Sal Collection
webcomics and whatnot
Printed collection out now!Ā Straight from the Pit of Hell: a Blinky and Sal CollectionĀ is available on Amazon.
a young girl in school…
I donāt like school anymore.
I used to.
But not anymore.
Sister Margaret says Iām a trouble-making nonconformist. My mom says Iām just left-handed. Sister Margaret swats my hand whenever she catches me switching my pencil back to my left hand. I draw pictures of Sister Margaret getting shot out of a canon. Then I draw Xās on her eyes, but then I get creative and make them into swastikas.
I honestly donāt mean to be a troublemaker. Maybe itās just that my pencil wants to be in my left hand instead of my right. Sister Margaret can stuff it! I think God made me this way for a reason. I canāt just change because Sister Margaret says so. But her ruler is a little more convincing. If Iām gonna write with my right hand then God Himself is gonna have to tell me.
I use a red crayon to portray the blood coming out of Sister Margaretās head wounds.
Sister Margaret says I had better shape up. She says Iām the only one in the class who writes with my left hand. She says she doesnāt like to look up and see all of the other good little children writing in perfect unison with their rights only to have her lovely ballet of scratching right pencils disrupted by the chaotic scribblings of a rebellious spirit. She says.
She also isnāt fond of my doodles.
Maybe I like being different. Maybe itās good that we donāt all do the same thingā¦but I would feel a little more comfortable if at least one other kid would write with their left. I look around the room. Maria, Susie, Amy, Kiersten, Christin, Khristin, Christina, the other Amy, Alicia, Mayukoā¦theyāre all writing with their right hands. I know theyāre not looking at me now. They always turn and look when Sister Margaret scolds me.
Theyāre just looking at their papers and writing. They canāt see me.
They donāt care.
But what if they do notice my lefty writing? What if they donāt like it? What if they wouldnāt be my friend? Up until now no one has said anything. How much longer will it last? High school? College? Oh no!—what comes after college?!
āCalm down. Itās no big deal. You wonāt lose friends over a silly thing like this.ā
Thanks, Mortimer, my imaginary friendā¦who is also a walrus. Youāre right. Itās no big dealā¦but then, if it really is no big dealā¦
…..
I see now the error of my ways. Everything is fine and as it should be. I writeā¦right. Nobody swats my hand with a ruler. Nobody judges me. And, according to Sister Maragaret, Baby Jesus doesnāt weep over my stenographic ineptitude anymore. Everything is normal. Nobody notices.
Sister Margaret doesnāt scold me anymore. Sister Margaret doesnāt even look at me anymore.
Sister Margaretās perfect right-handed writing ballet is all in order.
I blend in.
I am normal.
Nobody can see me.
Beep beep boop beep.
J. Burrello