The guy I did this for just didn’t like it which means I get to keep it.
Author: J. Burrello
Cartoonist, comedian, whatever.
Responsible for such nonsense as Barb, Haunted Safari, etc.
Doodling Be Like Breathing
Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall…and their tea party was ruined.
Go hear it on the mountain. Perhaps a touch inspired by Seuss, Dali, and Gilliam.
H-8. Hit.
Original artwork for VikingJesus.
Bela Lugosi in “White Zombie”
Bela Lugosi as Murder Legendre in “White Zombie” (1932). I love this movie.
Doodling at Random
majestic, isn’t it?
Confidence issues? Is it that obvious?
the prolonged squawk you heard tell about in “The Dead Parrot Sketch”
“Relax, Darling. You’ll love the train. Bwahahahahahaha.”
Will work for NBC.
selling out. I’m actually against the e-readers.
wishful thinking.
More Drawings
the boxing cactus (inspired by1937 Disney cartoon, “Magician Mickey”).
the house at the end of the street
record time
wasteland
beginnings…
Actor???
A few of the short films I’ve had the pleasure of appearing in.
Someone made an homage to “The Dark Knight” and they asked me to be the Commissioner Gordon character because I had a mustache. 2009
The real Santa Claus. A movie as inane and ludicrous as the song that inspired it. 2010
Just for fun we made us some waffles. 2011
Murder! A hit and run driver tries to dispose of a troublesome body. 2009
I play a cat pervert. 2011
A silly, little short we all helped write involving a bored poet and a wayward time traveler. 2008
Pantomime getting beat up outside can get the cops called on you. 2011
A scene that my friend re-shot from Tim Burton’s “Ed Wood.” 2008
One of my first experiences on camera. My roommate asked me to play his weird roommate and I figured I already play that role well in real life so… 2007
I have a very brief cameo as a ping pong player.
My Cartoons
- When the shy Woolly can’t stop growing she winds up the center of attention…unfortunately they include the attentions of a greedy farmer, a hungry bear, and a hairy pirate.
Sterling Renaissance Festival billboard
The Ocelots Are Out
Ranpopo the Peccary Wizard: the fantastical man who controls all of the world’s peccaries with but the wave of his sword. The ocelots will be no match for him.
The Story of the Tea-making Coat Unsinkable or: a Plea for the Preservation of Antiques.
The coat: a grand apparatus
And it ever wilt be
Supreme in stature and status.
This is my tale, my plea.
I sleep in a dark room
When I am not worn.
Around me moths have loomed
Since the day I was born.
The moths are patiently waiting
To munch me clean through.
βPon me masticating
Now Iβm no longer new.
In my day I made fine tea
For all who would allow
A coat near kettles large and wee.
And I served it with a bow.
I now rest on an old table
Next to discarded toys.
I am the coat unsinkable
Neglected by girls and boys.
The sun scampers through the trees
And all are gone but me.
Is there no one that I can please
With my fur, my warmth, my tea?
The moon is laughing at my plight.
It is doubtless he will leave.
To make him go away I might
Plug my neck-hole with a sleeve.
Glowworms bare their eerie light.
I do not wish to fuss,
But coats do not like the night
Unless someone is in us.
I recall one time when
Sleet fell like buckets of water
And my owner decided then
To drape me βpon his granddaughter.
I kept her dry as best I could
But was useless I admit
To the old man who was so good
And who payed dearly for it.
By fire we dried our strain
And the girl began to cry
For walking out in the rain
Made dear grandpa die.
There was nothing I could do, you see.
He had done the unthinkable.
I tried to cheer her up with tea
But was no longer the coat unsinkable.
Tortured by one thought,
More than I could smother,
I saved one life but neβer forgot
In so doing took another.
Now I am for sale
And this event still lingers
In my mind, never stale,
Like songs by sad singers.
Doubtless time will not remember
The man who wore me proudly
And saved the girl that one December
And departed this world not loudly.
The moths are now chewing.
I still recall the old manβs deed.
Yet no one is pursuing
To buy me or pay me heed.
Not only can I keep you warm
And make you delicious tea,
But can tell of sacrifice not norm
If youβd open your ears and see.
Once the moths have finished,
Youβll have allowed a desecration.
And what this man did shall be diminished
To butterfly defecation.
Why I Think That Dolphins Are Monstrously Overrated
In regards to my limited knowledge of poetry
I am led to believe all poems are about dolphins
And dolphins quite undoubtedly and predictably,
almost absolutely certainly
are obviously
and pretentiously, quite specifically
going to result in total boredom and even, perhaps, monotony.
From this it follows that dolphins are monstrously overrated.
Itβs really not that complicated.
A more appalling thing could not make me more aggravated
Than the principle of which Iβve previously stated.
Itβs a stimuli Iβd rather not have unfurled.
Solemnly I maintain my agitation.
Iβm surprised more people arenβt suffering more acerbation
From the grim realization, a most remarkable revelation,
Perhaps even astute observation
Of this silly stipulation
And all other connotation
Since the dawning of creation
Regarding this radical insinuation,
Without further elaboration,
At risk of exacerbation,
That no oneβs made the variation to escape into broader imagination
Out of this conceptβs relation…
To the real world.
In the words of my ancestors,
As they most likely said it,
βI hate dolphins,β there, you read it.
And now to the first person who led it
Onto the pages to permanently embed it
Into my mind and yours, good readers,
The idea of the dolphin, those lousy cheaters
Iβd much rather be contemplating glue and eggbeaters.
Who they have dolphins as our world leaders
When good olβ βDubyaβ is more alert than the average of Wal-Mart greeters?
Iβm sorry, itβs just that dolphins really try my meters.
To capitalize on prior arguments,
Well, you heard it all ladies, gents.
You be the judge of all these infuriating comments.
Are dolphins worthy of any overlarge monuments?
And I think the dolphins owe us a few compliments.
If you are truly American residents
You cannot deny this creatureβs resonance
Thatβs become such a huge and unstoppable pain in pants.
βStop the dolphin β youβd proclaim without ignorance,
βThis animal must be stopped β
Well, I hope Iβve made my point, if not Iβll try again.
And if this doesnβt work, I swear itβs to the corner to count to ten.
Dolphins have, in the past, made me irritated.
For a while I thought it was gone, but it regenerated.
And if not now, in the near future Iβd like them to be completely abated
From poems, and in fact, anything else even a little related
And then you fine people may truly be liberated,
This foe finally terminated, you may finally be compensated
For the years lost to this menace thatβs been thoroughly underestimated,
For behold; this dilemma is not today outdated…
The dolphin is monstrously overrated.
The Big Insane Happy 